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Supporting Teen Parents in New Jersey in May and Every Day! By: Tamara Horn

i May 14th 1 Comment by

Kerry, a teen mother, is frustrated because her 18 month old son, Jack, will not stop running in the house.  Through her tears, Kerry explained to her Social Worker that Jack consistently refuses to listen to her although she tells him repeatedly to stop.  Jack has already fallen several times while running in his socks, and according to Kerry, he still has not learned his lesson. The Social Worker advised Kerry to continue parenting Jack with patience, persistence, and a positive attitude. She reminds Kerry that Jack is naturally exploring as a toddler; just as Kerry explores as a teenager.  As Kerry has shared this frustration several times, she finally made the connection that the social worker implied.  As a teenager Kerry has admitted that she often doesn’t listen to her parents and that children sometimes test their boundaries; a lesson Kerry said she can relate to.

Fortunately, Kerry is a participant in the statewide Parent Linking Program (PLP), a program that helps teen parents finish their education but also become the best parents they can be for their children. PLP is a program for teen parents which is provided free of charge in high schools that includes a social worker who provides regular counseling to students like Kerry.  All teen parents in PLP are encouraged to be more responsible and nurturing parents as they balance the responsibilities of being a student-parent.   In PLP, Kerry’s Social Worker reminds her consistently of the positive outcomes she can continue experiencing if she avoids having another unintended pregnancy; specifically while she is still in high school.

May is Prevent Teen Pregnancy Month where national awareness and participation is encouraged in an effort to prevent unintended teen pregnancies.  These efforts are especially important for those who live with and/or work with teens who are already parents. Over 700,000 teen pregnancies occur each year in the United States; most of them, 80%, are unintended pregnancies. Each year, the Parent Linking Program (PLP), of Prevent Child Abuse-NJ reminds over 200 teen parents to make plans for healthy family choices and avoid subsequent unintended pregnancies.  Although teen pregnancy in New Jersey has declined, there are still 6,000 teen parents statewide who could use support in preventive efforts to avoid unintended pregnancies.

PLP, a School Based Youth Services Program funded by the New Jersey Department of Children and Families, was created because it is a proven fact that children born to teen parents are at greater risk of being neglected and abused due to lack of knowledge, resources, and finances. In exchange for free child care, program participants are required to attend the weekly parenting and life skills workshops, in addition to the normal academic curriculum required for graduation.  These components prevent present and future child abuse and neglect by enhancing the teenage parent’s self-esteem, knowledge of parenting and child development, and ability to meet financial responsibilities by helping the teen parent complete high school and delay repeat pregnancies.

Fortunately with the support of the parents/guardians of the teen parents and the support of PLP Coordinators (Social Workers, Directors, and Caregivers) 95% of the program’s participants do NOT have a second unintended pregnancy.  Often in home visits, PLP Coordinators discuss with family members the importance of the consistent reminder of responsible family planning.

Most PLP participants express good intentions with their children despite their challenges.  They are usually challenged with sacrificing their time, money, and even personal space (sharing bedrooms with their children).  Participants are reminded that a repeat unintended pregnancy can add harmful stressors to the teen mother as well as her child. In addition, stress puts repeat births of teenagers more at risk of preterm and low-birth weight in comparison to their first births.

The Parent Linking Program’s 25 year history has proven that the program’s services  can lead to powerful changes in  the communities of New Jersey. 95% of the teen parents enrolled in Parent Linking Program have graduated high school and, 90% planned to attend college. Many of the PLP program alumni and current participants speak to their peers in school about their challenges and ways to avoid unintended pregnancies. Teen pregnancy prevention can be a communal effort sharing messages of responsibility in the homes, schools, cultural centers in every community.   Fortunately, New Jersey is one of the lowest ranking states in teen pregnancy rates. In May, and every day, please remember that supporting a teen parent is increasing the likelihood of successful outcomes; high school and college degrees, greater job and life skills, and of course, happier and healthier children.

While PLP has trained professionals counseling the teen parents, these professionals also encourage the parents and guardians of teen parents to talk about pregnancy prevention.  If you are a parent, here are some tips to help you navigate the discussion on pregnancy prevention:

  • Talk with your teen about healthy and mature options for exploring relationships.
  • Offer him/her information on birth control methods. Teens may not feel as pressured to purchase or inquire about birth control if there they know their options.
  • Be persistent, positive, and patient with the progress.  Remember when instructing a teen to do something for their benefit; it is likely that you may still have to repeat your message several times

In May and throughout the year, spread the message to a teenager that avoiding an unintended pregnancy is a responsible decision.

 

Unemployment and Child Abuse

i Dec 7th No Comments by

My professional colleagues here at Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey have educated me on the many stressors that predispose a family to being at risk for abusing or neglecting their child. Substance abuse, incarceration, isolation from friends and family in a new community, and domestic violence are some of the more common situations. Unemployment, and with it, a lack of an income stream, is another contributing factor. With unemployment levels at double digits, reports of jobs not being re-introduced to the economy, mandatory furloughs, a reduction from full time to part time, and cuts in pay rates, everyone knows someone in their lives who has, or will, experience the stress first hand.

In addition to the financial impacts that unemployment has on families, there are psychological effects such as depression, lack of confidence, feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness, and anger.

What can the unemployed individual, and his family members, do to be supportive during this stressful time? It is a competitive workplace out there, and you need to stay 5 steps ahead of other candidates with small tips:

  1. PRESENTATION COUNTS – From entry level to executive, having an attention getting cover letter, resume and presentation all make a difference in distinguishing you from the pack. Remember – it’s not “all about you” in your letter and in the objective on your resume. The employer wants to know what you bring to the table; what will you do for them? Instead of stating that you are seeking a job where you can rise up the company ladder and learn new skills, state the qualities and abilities that will benefit the employer. Use no more than 3-4 sentences in the cover letter to sell yourself, and get into the recruiter’s YES pile. Monitor your usage of the word “I;” too many times looks like bragging. Use full sentences; resist the temptation to use the more informal “texting” language.
  2. DRESS FOR SUCCESS – Pounding the pavements to drop off resumes? Don’t go in your beach attire! Put on your business (conservative, clean, pressed, fitting well) clothing, even if you don’t get past the security guard. Don’t distract with too much cologne, jewelry, hairstyle, makeup or tattoos. You never know who you may run into. Make good eye contact, extend your hand and get the name(s) of the individual(s) you spoke with. Be sure you speak professionally – no slang or curse words.
  3. MAKE IT PERSONAL – Don’t do an email blast of your resume to more than one employer – take the time to send it directly to the hiring manager or human resources professional indicated in the ad. If it isn’t clear, call the company and ask the person’s name who is receiving resumes. If this isn’t available, “To Whom It May Concern” is fine, but send one at a time, addressed directly to the company.
  4. KEEP IT CLEAN! – Is your email address “clean” or does it read “wildncrazy@yahoo.com”…? Are your ring tone and voicemail greeting on both your personal cell and home phone clean? Is there music with off-color lyrics? Get rid of them.
  5. WAKE UP! – If you are in job search mode, make it a point to be up and ready to receive and make calls by no later than 8 AM. There’s nothing worse than making a call to screen an applicant and waking them up during the business day. Finding a job is your job; treat it as such.
  6. YOUR FAMILY CAN HELP – Make sure to leave a pen/paper by the phone for family members to take accurate messages for you. Coach them on how to answer the phone professionally while you are in job search mode. Engage your family in your search, but not all discussions should focus around the search. Continue to participate as an engaged member of the family as always.
  7. SHOW AND TELL – Create a portfolio; impress the interviewer with samples of your professional work during the interview (assuming you have permission from your former employer to keep them). Don’t clog up the recruiter’s inbox with presentation materials unless samples were requested.
  8. DON’T BLAST former employers – always speak positively. Think ahead for the tough questions and your responses (Why did you leave that job? What about arrests and criminal records? How will you explain any gaps in your work history?).
  9. NEVER LIE! – Assume all details will be checked pre-hire.
  10. FOLLOW UP – … but don’t pester. E-mail, call, mail (or else as directed) – DO follow up to show your level of interest. A professional 3-4 line summary, including something that will remind the interviewer of your discussion, is a must.
  11. VOLUNTEER – It’s very important, both from a psychological perspective and to fill gaps on your resume, to keep your days busy with productive activities. It’s far better for an employer to hear you say you spent the past six months tutoring disadvantaged children as a volunteer than “collecting unemployment.”
  12. KEEP UP WITH YOUR SKILLS – Read professional trade publications, learn and practice new computer applications, brush up or learn a new foreign language.
  13. YOU ARE NOT ALONE – The Unemployment Offices have some job re-training and support services, but don’t let that stop you from finding your own networks. Everyone you meet, whether in a doctor’s office, supermarket, library or train station, knows someone who knows someone else who is looking for a hard-working employee. When you meet interesting people who might have a job connection for you, be assertive and see if you can make it work to your advantage. Even if networking doesn’t pan out into a job, you will be able to learn new things and get ideas you hadn’t thought of previously that may help you in your search.
  14. SOCIAL NETWORKING – These sites can be powerful tools in your networking quest, but use them with caution. Don’t display (or allow others to display) photos or inappropriate material that an employer could find. LinkedIn is a business networking site, whereas Facebook is more social.
  15. DON’T GIVE UP – There’s a job out there for everyone. Be flexible with your expectations. Things happen for a reason, and life is a resume. Keep plugging at it.
  16. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON – Being unemployed doesn’t mean you are bad or did anything wrong. It means you haven’t yet found the match for your skill set and needs.

Work is only one aspect of what defines you as a person. Being a parent is THE most important job you will ever have in life. Focus on your job search and, if you are overwhelmed by the stresses of unemployment, seek help.

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