Report Cards: Channeling Negative Energy into Positive Results
For many school districts in New Jersey, January marks the end of another marking period and the close of the first half of the school year. You know what that means; report cards and progress reports are en route! This is a time of year that brings anxiety for both parents and students, but it also poses a wonderful opportunity for parents to enforce positive and encouraging behavior. If your child’s grades are less than ideal this season, instead of creating “punishment time”, create a “problem-solving time” and tackle the issues.
Tips for approaching report card time:
SIT DOWN with your child and look over the report card.
PRAISE YOUR CHILD. Find at least one good thing that they did right (e.g. attendance, class participation, etc.).
BE CALM! Let your child tell you about his/her grades.
ASK your child how you can help them do better.
DISCUSS what your child can do to make better grades.
MAKE A PLAN with your child’s teacher and your child to improve grades.
FREE ways to access academic help!
Encourage your child to attend the teacher’s office hours after school. Are you frustrated with the student to teacher ratio? Well, after school office hours allow for students’ needs to be addressed in a more personalized and intimate setting. Thus, specific areas of trouble can be pinpointed and improved.
Encourage your child to spend time studying with their friends. Devote a portion of “hang-out time” to peer learning time where classmates review class notes and study for upcoming quizzes together. Reviewing notes consistently throughout the year helps to alleviate stress around exam time. Moreover, studying with friends makes for a more fun and interactive experience.
Get in the books! Read through the textbooks, learn some of the subject matter, and try to explain it to your child in a way you feel he/she will understand. After all, no one knows your child better than you!
Parents: What are YOUR Grades at Report Card Time?
|Showing Praise & Encouragement|
|Commitment to staying involved in school year-round|
If you suspect that a child is being abused, please call 1-877-NJ-ABUSE (1-877-652-2873) and report your suspicions. Someone will address the report of alleged abuse within 24 hours of your call.
This is the second part of our two-part article discussing the issue of emotional abuse of children by parents or caregivers. Many of the readers of part one commented that the article asked the question about “where is that line that defines emotional abuse?”, but failed to provide a clear answer.
The simplest answer is there is no clear line, in the same way that we look at physical child abuse or child sexual abuse. In most cases, emotional abuse involves a pattern of overly critical, negative or harmful behavior over time and does not result from a single incident — although it could if it was severe enough. But if you shout at your child out of frustration, one time — that is not emotional abuse. But if it’s the only tool in your toolkit, so to speak, you may have a problem.
What can a mom or dad (or other caregiver) do if they wonder about their own parenting behavior?
First, recognize the types of emotional abuse that can occur. This list from the American Humane Society provides a helpful starting point. Again, remember that it involves a consistent pattern of behavior over time.
Second, and maybe most importantly, parents can take action to prevent emotional abuse. The list below, also from the American Humane Society, has helpful suggestions:
Parenting is one of life’s most magical experiences….but it can also be one of the most stressful. Get educated about the issue of emotional abuse. If you feel like you may be crossing the line, identify steps you can take to be more positive, patient and supportive of your child. If you still feel like you need help, contact Parents’ Anonymous, which offers confidential support groups and other services for stressed-out parents in New Jersey: 800-THE KIDS (800-843-5437).
In the last week, a bit more information has surfaced in the case in the NFL involving the two Miami Dolphin players, Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin. Incognito has now admitted that, while he did not intend it that way, that much of his behavior towards Martin may have “crossed the line”, that it was embarrassing, and that it was perceived by Martin as being emotionally abusive. The case can serve as a valuable wake-up call for parents, to look in the mirror and assess your own behavior toward your children. A little quiet self-reflection now could prevent more serious consequences in the future.
In the past few days, one of the biggest stories in the media, even bigger than electing a new Mayor in New York City or the re-election of Governor Christie here in NJ, is the case of Jonathan Martin, an offensive lineman with the Miami Dolphins. Martin left the team after accusations of threatening behavior by another offensive lineman with the team, Richie Incognito. Although some of the descriptions of Incognito’s actions against Martin have been described as being “over the top, cruel, and crude,” other NFL players have defended Incognito as simply acting the same as hundreds of other NFL players have done for decades…that the type of “hazing” that is being described is deeply ingrained into the NFL locker room. And many people from many backgrounds have also weighed in, saying that the definition of “bullying” that can devastate child victims, does not apply to 300-pound grown men being paid millions of dollars to play a violent game.
But the case also highlights the difficult challenge of understanding or defining what constitutes “emotional abuse”…in this case, not involving grown men on an NFL football team, but of parents raising their own children. What is emotional abuse? Nearly every parent has, at some point, lost their temper with their children and yelled at them in anger. But is that abuse? If it happens rarely, of course not. But if it happens frequently, where is the line? Parents may criticize their children for failing to do something, from cleaning up their room, to making a poor grade at school. Dealing with criticism is part of life and children, like everyone else, must learn from both their accomplishments and their failures. But if a parent’s only tool is criticism, or does so in a consistent and mean-spirited way that belittles a child, is that abuse? Where is the line? Can it hurt children in ways that affect their futures?
Research shows that like other forms of child abuse, emotional abuse can leave permanent scars on a child for the rest of their life, including increasing the risk for mental health problems, substance abuse, other chronic health problems, and problems with relationships and jobs.
Why does emotional abuse happen? Again, it usually happens due to similar factors associated with other forms of child abuse and neglect, including a lack of knowledge about positive parenting and healthy child development, a lack of positive role models in one’s own life, and overwhelming stress caused by life’s many challenges – a lack of money, relationship problems, job stress or mental health issues. Any one of these factors can increase a parent’s frustration with their child, but alcohol use, added to stress, can be the volatile fuel that explodes frustration into true abusive behavior.
All parents should be aware of the harm that can happen to children from emotional abuse….but also understand that emotional abuse involves a pattern of persistent parental behavior, not an isolated incident. Studies show how remarkably resilient children can be, even after experiencing traumatic events. But research also shows that children’s healthy physical, emotional and brain development can be permanently marred by incidents of abuse and children who experience such trauma are more likely to repeat the behavior as adults themselves, and experience increased risk for a wide variety of health problems as they move from childhood to adolescence to adulthood.
What are the types of emotional abuse that can help parents review their own behavior and see where it fits? Come back next week for a second part of this article that will define the types of behavior that constitute emotional abuse, and more importantly, will include ideas that every parent can use to prevent emotional abuse.
For more information please visit: www.preventchildabusenj.org.
“I saw a mother spanking one of my students, is that child abuse?” “A friend of mine leaves her toddler home alone whileshe goes to work, is that neglect?” People are sometimes unsure of what exactly denotes child abuse. Because the definition of child abuse may be considered unknown territory for many people, they may rationalize abusive behavior as discipline techniques, allowing actual cases of child abuse to go unreported.
Federal law defines child abuse and neglect as:
“Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation; or an act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm”
The State of New Jersey adds that this abuse or neglect is considered child abuse or neglect when inflicted on children ages 18 or younger by a parent or caregiver. Unfortunately, this definition is not widely known and people often have incorrect information when assessing abusive behavior.
Some common misconceptions around child abuse are:
Child abuse doesn’t happen in good families. Yes, it does. Child abuse can happen to anyone, anywhere, regardless of socioeconomic status, race or culture. Everyone suffers from stress and frustrations at some point in their lives, which is a risk factor for committing child abuse.
Most child abusers are strangers. Wrong. Data shows that most abusers are family members and in the case of child sexual abuse, known to the child and his/her family.
It’s only abuse if it’s violent. Wrong, again. There are many forms of abuse that do not involve any physical attacks against children, such as emotional abuse and neglect,
The major forms of child maltreatment as outlined in the federal definition are: physical abuse, neglect, emotional abuse and sexual abuse.
Physical abuse is described as physical harm or injury to a child, regardless of intent. Signs of this type of abuse include unexplained bruises, burns, fractures, or abrasions as well as extreme aggressiveness or withdrawal. Physically abused children may also be afraid to go home or be around their parents or other adults. When making the distinction between abuse and discipline, it is important to note that with physical abuse, the child is unable to predict the parent’s behavior; parents are lashing out in anger in an effort to assert control rather than lovingly teaching their child, and are using fear to control their child.
Neglect is the failure of a parent or caregiver to provide the basic needs for their child. This includes a failure to provide adequate food, clothing, shelter, education or medical care for their child though they are in a financial position to do so. Similar to physical abuse, neglect may not be intentional. Parents sometimes become physically or mentally unable to care for their children properly. Signs of neglected children include hunger, poor hygiene, unattended physical problems or medical needs, begging, stealing food, staying late in school and constant fatigue.
Emotional Abuse involves behavior that impairs a child’s emotional development and sense of self. Examples of this form of abuse are rejection, constant criticism and withholding love and affection. Children experiencing this abuse may exhibit symptoms of conduct disorders, habit disorders, or neurotic traits. They may also act more mature or younger for their age.
Sexual Abuse involves sexual activities, such as fondling, penetration, rape, indecent exposure and exploitation, by a parent or caregiver on a child. Physical contact is not always necessary in sexual abuse. Just exposing a child to sexual situations and material is also considered sexual abuse. This form of abuse is unfortunately most often committed by someone close to the child, like a close relative and affects both girls and boys. Victims are often burdened with feelings of shame and guilt. Victims often have difficulty walking or sitting, are unwilling to change for gym class, may be withdrawn, have an unusually mature knowledge of sexual behavior, may have poor peer relationships and may run away.
All these forms of abuse can have devastating and long-lasting effects on victims. Maltreated children are at risk for developmental and cognitive delays, as well as emotional difficulties. They are also at higher risk for medical problems as the stress of the trauma negatively affects their nervous system and immune system development. They may also manifest symptoms of borderline personality disorder, depression, anxiety and many other psychological disorders. As a way to cope, victims may also turn to drugs, alcohol and delinquent behavior.
It is our goal at Prevent Child Abuse New Jersey to stop abuse and neglect from ever happening to any of New Jersey’s children. Each child deserves a happy, healthy and safe childhood. Through our many programs, we work to educate parents on proper parenting techniques, including ways to prevent Shaken-Baby Syndrome, aid parents in overcoming stresses that may cause frustration and lead to abuse, prevent child sexual abuse by educating parents on how to identify sexual predators and making policy changes, and working with teen parents to ensure they graduate without a second pregnancy and with the necessary skills for raising their children. Our programs are empirically supported and are successful in supplying parents with the knowledge they need to raise healthy and safe children.
If you or anyone you know has reasonable cause to believe that a child is being abused, you are required by New Jersey law to make a report by calling 1-877-NJ-ABUSE (1-877-652-2873). All calls are anonymous. As soon as the report is made, an investigation on the alleged abuse and neglect will be conducted within the next 24 hours.
What is Child Abuse and Neglect? Recognizing Signs and Symptoms: https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/whatiscan.pdf#page=1&view=Introduction
Long-Term Consequences of Child Abuse and Neglect: https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/long_term_consequences.pdf#page=5&view=Behavioral%20Consequences
Child Abuse & Neglect: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm
Nearly everyone recognizes the Super Bowl as one of the grandest of all sporting and TV events in the U.S. With the Super Bowl coming to the MetLife Stadium in New Jersey next February, the state’s tourist industry will receive a welcome boost in revenue from the sold-out stadium, parties, events and attending celebrities.
But what many people are shocked to learn, according to Attorneys General in states which have hosted the event, is that the Super Bowl is regarded as the largest “sex trafficking event” in the country each year. Sex trafficking is an illegal business operation where traffickers use fraud, coercion or threats of violence to force women, sometimes men, and – alarmingly — quite often children into prostitution. Research studies confirm that it causes devastating harm to victims, destroying lives and dramatically increasing the risk of mental health problems, drug abuse and suicide. A very high percentage of victims have suffered a previous incident of child sexual abuse, making them more vulnerable to exploitation by traffickers who prey on their unmet needs.
Many people think sex trafficking only happens in other countries – for example, in Thailand, which has become infamous for its ties to prostitution and trafficking. Or that sex trafficking may happen here in the U.S., but it only happens to foreign-born victims who are brought into the U.S.
The reality is that sex trafficking happens everywhere in the United States, including here in NJ, and that our citizens are at risk for being trafficked. The FBI and the NJ Attorney General have found cases in nearly every part of our state. Atlantic City, with the influx of tourists and money, has struggled with trafficking for years.
NJ also faces a special risk from sex trafficking due to its proximity to New York City. Many young women (and girls under age 18) move to NYC with the dreams of becoming a model or actress. Traffickers know how to take advantage, offering vulnerable women gifts, money, and false promises…that quickly turn into threats, entrapment and violence. Because New Jersey is a transit hub, complete with highways, ports, and an extensive public transportation system, people move relative easily and inconspicuously, across the state and across the state’s borders. And of course, New Jersey faces struggles with illegal drugs, gangs and other factors that make it easy for traffickers to conduct their business and not be caught.
Who’s at risk? Shockingly, the average age of a girl entering sex trafficking is 12-14. A girl who becomes alienated from her parents and runs away can easily be lured into trafficking by a trafficker posing as a boyfriend who offers help and a place to stay. Studies show that a runaway girl will be approached by someone in the trafficking industry within 48 hours of hitting the street. Youth who may be lesbian, gay, or transgender are especially vulnerable because they are often already treated as “outcasts” by their own family or community, and therefore can become a target for traffickers.
What can we do? Everyone can be more vigilant by knowing these facts. If you see a girl or boy you think could be caught up in trafficking, call the Polaris Project, a nationwide hotline that will help you decide what you saw and what to do. The number is 888 3737 888. There are many new efforts, led by our Department of Children and Families and the Attorney General, to educate people statewide about the warning signs and what you can do. Prevent Child Abuse NJ will be leading efforts to work with girls and boys who live in high-risk situations, such as runaway shelters, to prevent them from becoming involved in the commercial sex industry.
The Super Bowl will be an incredible happening for the state of New Jersey; with your help, we can also protect our children from being caught up in a human tragedy and horrific crime.
Preparing your home for a baby takes a lot of planning and a little creativity. When it comes to baby-proofing your home, you should never underestimate your baby’s number one talent: transforming everyday household items into safety hazards.
September is Baby Safety Awareness Month, which means that now is a great time to evaluate the security of your home. In the U.S., the leading cause of death among infants and toddlers is preventable household accidents.
Read through the following baby safety tips to make sure that your home is as secure as possible for your baby. You may even want to print these tips and keep them on your refrigerator. There’s a lot to remember when it comes to baby-proofing your home; it might help to read through these tips as a reminder every once in a while.
These are only some of the home safety tips you need to remember when it comes to keeping your baby safe. You may want to try getting down on your baby’s level to see if there are any safety hazards you are overlooking. If you crawl around your home, you may discover small items, such as coins, that could present choking hazards.
You should also remember that in order to keep your baby secure, you need to keep your home secure in general. Make sure you take appropriate fire prevention measures and install carbon monoxide detectors in your home to prevent carbon monoxide poisoning. Remember, your baby is relying on you to keep your house secure.
Some would argue that parenting gets harder with every generation. Today, more parents than ever before are juggling work and family life. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, in 2012 65% of mothers with children under age 6 were in the work force. In 2011, among married-couple families with children under age 6, 53% had both parents employed. Moms and dads alike are navigating a new world where trying to achieve work-family balance can be daunting.
Employers across New Jersey have responded to the change in the work force and embraced creative strategies to meet the needs of working parents and retain valuable employees. With 9 New Jersey companies rated on the 100 Best Companies for working moms by WorkingMother.com (up from 6 last year), there is clearly movement towards creating family-friendly workplaces. Some strategies include: paid maternity and paternity leave, back-up childcare, flexible schedules, and work-from-home opportunities. Some of the large corporations in New Jersey even provide on-site childcare, on-site medical centers, and on-site fitness centers!
Companies both large and small can make simple changes that support working parents. An environment that promotes flexible scheduling and telecommuting opportunities is a great start. Access to comfortable lactation rooms is another great way to ease the transition back to work for new moms. Companies can also provide discounted access to family-oriented resources such as theme park tickets, sporting events, and vacation destinations. Informational on-site workshops or webinars on topics that are important to parents, such as Breastfeeding Basics, Car Seat Safety, and Saving for College, are another great way to show parents that the company supports working parents. Employers can organize a fun family day complete with car seat inspections, health screenings, and information booths. Providing opportunities for employees to bring their children to work is a excellent way to promote a family-friendly culture in the office.
A more ambitious way to attract and retain parenting employees is to offer unique high-end services like Parent Universe’s Baby Coaching, a customized home-based session with a parenting expert. “The transition to parenthood is difficult enough without throwing a full day of work in the mix,” says Director Patty Mojta. “Our Baby Coaches provide the individualized attention that parents need when trying to figure out how to juggle it all, and the reassurance that they are doing OK.” Employers can contract with Parent Universe to provide free or reduced-cost in-home services to their parenting employees as part of a competitive benefits package. An added bonus? Parent Universe donates all proceeds back to Prevent Child Abuse New Jersey to support services for vulnerable families. Learn more at www.ParentUniverse.org.
Prevent Child Abuse New Jersey commends employers who respond to the changing workplace in new and creative ways that support working parents. We know that supported, nurtured parents are better parents and better employees.
Kerry, a teen mother, is frustrated because her 18 month old son, Jack, will not stop running in the house. Through her tears, Kerry explained to her Social Worker that Jack consistently refuses to listen to her although she tells him repeatedly to stop. Jack has already fallen several times while running in his socks, and according to Kerry, he still has not learned his lesson. The Social Worker advised Kerry to continue parenting Jack with patience, persistence, and a positive attitude. She reminds Kerry that Jack is naturally exploring as a toddler; just as Kerry explores as a teenager. As Kerry has shared this frustration several times, she finally made the connection that the social worker implied. As a teenager Kerry has admitted that she often doesn’t listen to her parents and that children sometimes test their boundaries; a lesson Kerry said she can relate to.
Fortunately, Kerry is a participant in the statewide Parent Linking Program (PLP), a program that helps teen parents finish their education but also become the best parents they can be for their children. PLP is a program for teen parents which is provided free of charge in high schools that includes a social worker who provides regular counseling to students like Kerry. All teen parents in PLP are encouraged to be more responsible and nurturing parents as they balance the responsibilities of being a student-parent. In PLP, Kerry’s Social Worker reminds her consistently of the positive outcomes she can continue experiencing if she avoids having another unintended pregnancy; specifically while she is still in high school.
May is Prevent Teen Pregnancy Month where national awareness and participation is encouraged in an effort to prevent unintended teen pregnancies. These efforts are especially important for those who live with and/or work with teens who are already parents. Over 700,000 teen pregnancies occur each year in the United States; most of them, 80%, are unintended pregnancies. Each year, the Parent Linking Program (PLP), of Prevent Child Abuse-NJ reminds over 200 teen parents to make plans for healthy family choices and avoid subsequent unintended pregnancies. Although teen pregnancy in New Jersey has declined, there are still 6,000 teen parents statewide who could use support in preventive efforts to avoid unintended pregnancies.
PLP, a School Based Youth Services Program funded by the New Jersey Department of Children and Families, was created because it is a proven fact that children born to teen parents are at greater risk of being neglected and abused due to lack of knowledge, resources, and finances. In exchange for free child care, program participants are required to attend the weekly parenting and life skills workshops, in addition to the normal academic curriculum required for graduation. These components prevent present and future child abuse and neglect by enhancing the teenage parent’s self-esteem, knowledge of parenting and child development, and ability to meet financial responsibilities by helping the teen parent complete high school and delay repeat pregnancies.
Fortunately with the support of the parents/guardians of the teen parents and the support of PLP Coordinators (Social Workers, Directors, and Caregivers) 95% of the program’s participants do NOT have a second unintended pregnancy. Often in home visits, PLP Coordinators discuss with family members the importance of the consistent reminder of responsible family planning.
Most PLP participants express good intentions with their children despite their challenges. They are usually challenged with sacrificing their time, money, and even personal space (sharing bedrooms with their children). Participants are reminded that a repeat unintended pregnancy can add harmful stressors to the teen mother as well as her child. In addition, stress puts repeat births of teenagers more at risk of preterm and low-birth weight in comparison to their first births.
The Parent Linking Program’s 25 year history has proven that the program’s services can lead to powerful changes in the communities of New Jersey. 95% of the teen parents enrolled in Parent Linking Program have graduated high school and, 90% planned to attend college. Many of the PLP program alumni and current participants speak to their peers in school about their challenges and ways to avoid unintended pregnancies. Teen pregnancy prevention can be a communal effort sharing messages of responsibility in the homes, schools, cultural centers in every community. Fortunately, New Jersey is one of the lowest ranking states in teen pregnancy rates. In May, and every day, please remember that supporting a teen parent is increasing the likelihood of successful outcomes; high school and college degrees, greater job and life skills, and of course, happier and healthier children.
While PLP has trained professionals counseling the teen parents, these professionals also encourage the parents and guardians of teen parents to talk about pregnancy prevention. If you are a parent, here are some tips to help you navigate the discussion on pregnancy prevention:
In May and throughout the year, spread the message to a teenager that avoiding an unintended pregnancy is a responsible decision.
April is national “Child Abuse Prevention month”. Having children is certainly one of life’s greatest joys; but raising children can also be stressful, even for those with the best information and support. Sometimes, overwhelming stress and a lack of knowledge about child health and development can lead to child abuse and neglect, and it can happen in any community, anywhere. We all have a role to prevent child abuse from ever happening….but when we fail, our children, our communities and our country pay a steep price. Victims of child abuse have a greater chance of academic failure, substance abuse and mental health issues, chronic health conditions, juvenile delinquency and criminal behavior. In economic terms, child abuse costs American taxpayers more than $80 billion a year to fix something after the fact….that could have been prevented. The good news is we know how to prevent child abuse and we are making some progress…..but we can and need to do much better.
However, it’s challenging to build support for the cause of preventing child abuse and neglect. Some people shy away from the issue for various reasons, including discomfort with the tragedy of child abuse, blaming “bad parents” who would do such a thing, and that child abuse “doesn’t happen in my neighborhood”. I was meeting recently with a prominent political leader in our state and he noted that he also served on the Board of an organization involving “therapy dogs.” They had just received a donation of several million dollars from someone…who just loved dogs. We acknowledged that the cause of child abuse prevention was unlikely to see that level of support, for all of the reasons above. (And I love dogs too). But don’t our children deserve better….?
In speaking recently with the founder of a national philanthropy, which supports child abuse prevention as a primary goal, he noted that “there is really no direct constituency for the cause of child abuse prevention”, compared to that of other nonprofit causes, such as universities, hospitals, faith-based organizations, or specific health issues. So it makes it much harder to generate awareness and support for the issue ….and the opportunity to prevent abuse before it ever happens.
On April 2, Prevent Child Abuse America, with Prevent Child Abuse New Jersey as the spokesperson, was invited to ring the opening bell at the NASDAQ stock exchange to raise awareness about April as Child Abuse Prevention Month and about an event happening in Times Square on April 16. The invitation from NASDAQ, the second-largest stock exchange in the United States, highlights the understanding that investments in childhood health and development have been shown to be an effective tool for economic development, with proven returns to American taxpayers and economic productivity.
The event on April 16 will feature Miss America, Mallory Hagan, who is championing the cause of preventing child sexual abuse in our country. The event will create the largest “pinwheel garden” in the country, in Times Square, using the small toy of the pinwheel as a symbol of a happy and carefree childhood…and of child abuse prevention.
Hopefully, events like these during Child Abuse Prevention Month, to raise awareness about the cause of prevention, can help us understand that we all have a role play to prevent child abuse from ever happening to our children. How? By helping parents who are friends or family when they face the stress of parenting; By encouraging the values of healthy, respectful relationships and empathy for our children; By supporting our neighbors and faith communities to help families who may be struggling; And by telling our policymakers that it’s time to make child health and development a national priority, equal to others that make our country so great.
On the same day as the NASDAQ event, NJ newspapers reported the death of a 4-month old infant in NJ, who was shaken because he wouldn’t stop crying. The baby’s father was quoted as saying that the baby would still be alive if the parents had received “parenting lessons.” A number of hospitals across the state have recently begun an intensive program that provides a powerful reminder to new parents about the stress of a crying baby, and how parents can cope. It has been shown to be effective in dramatically reducing the incidence of shaken-baby syndrome in rigorous evaluations. However, so far, only a small group of hospitals have adopted it.
We know how to prevent abuse …but we can and need to do a better job. For more information on our work visit www.preventchildabusenj.org.
Prevent Child Abuse NJ would like to share a story to paint a picture of why we work tirelessly every day to bring child abuse prevention efforts to all parents, caregivers and professionals across NJ.
January 8th, 2009 a beautiful baby boy named Joey entered this world in a hospital in NJ. His family was overjoyed with his arrival and their new addition to their family. His grandmother, Amy*, was thrilled to have a grandson she could dote on.
Two months later, Joey was taken to the emergency room with bleeding on his brain and behind his eyes. His head was swollen and they weren’t sure if Joey could see or hear. He was a victim of Shaken Baby Syndrome (SBS) at the hands of his father; his father whom had also been abused as a child until adopted by Amy when he was 6 years old. Amy is the proud grandmother of Joey, yet also the mother of the abuser. This incident forever changed their lives as Amy now works each day to protect Joey, who is now a SBS survivor and just turned 4 years old this January.
In a complex story involving family dynamics, devastation and an intense determination to protect her grandson, Amy has become an active volunteer and strong voice to prevent shaken baby syndrome and infant abuse. She reached out to PCANJ as soon as she learned the Period of PURPLE crying program was coming to New Jersey; a program designed to prevent SBS.
In 2012, Prevent Child Abuse NJ (PCANJ) launched a shaken baby syndrome/infant abuse prevention program called the Period of PURPLE crying in 2 New Jersey hospitals: Saint Barnabas Medical Center in Livingston and Newark Beth Israel in Newark. This program is effective at helping parents understand newborn crying and also teaching them about how to cope with the stress of a crying baby. Anyone who has ever been around a crying baby (add in no sleep for weeks with seemingly no end in sight!) can relate to the frustration of not being able to calm the baby down.
Fortunately, the PURPLE program teaches parents there IS an end in sight and that this is a period that all babies go through in their development. The cost is $2 per family for the hospital; an investment we think is worth it to save a child like Joey from having to ensure a lifetime of surviving the injuries from SBS.
Amy wrote: “As difficult as this is for me to re-live, I feel it is absolutely necessary, in the hopes of preventing another family from experiencing the tragic results of SBS. I’m all too familiar with the affects of child abuse on generations, and therefore, am willing to help in any way possible”.
PCANJ wants to bring this effort to more hospitals in NJ and with your support we can show that Prevention Matters… because Joey matters.
To support the Period of PURPLE crying program in New Jersey please visit our Period of PURPLE site.
If you are interested in knitting purple newborn caps for PCANJ’s Click for Babies in NJ campaign, please visit our Click for Babies site.
If you or someone you knows works in a NJ hospital that may be interested in bringing the Period of PURPLE crying to families who deliver there, please contact Gina Hernandez.
*Name has been changed to protect identity.