The Blog

Is Slapping a Child Considered “Child Abuse”?

i Feb 9th 61 Comments by

On January 26, 2011, the NJ Supreme Court unanimously ruled that a parent “slapping their child” did not constitute “child abuse”. The court’s ruling overturned an action by the NJ Division on Youth and Family Services to remove a teenager from her father and stepmother’s home in 2008. The father admitted that his wife had slapped his daughter and took her earnings from a part-time job to pay a TV cable bill.

In its ruling, the Supreme Court ruled that an occasional slap, “although hardly admirable…does not fit a common sense prohibition against excessive corporal punishment”.

In general, the NJ definition for physical child abuse states that a parent’s punishment of a child would need to lead to a serious injury to be classified as child abuse, so the court’s actual decision isn’t the story.

However, the court’s comment that the act is “hardly admirable” is important for two reasons.

First, research overwhelmingly shows that there are alternatives to spanking (or in this case “slapping a child in the face”) that are more effective in raising and disciplining a child — which is the point.

Striking a child has been shown to increase negative behaviors, including aggression, in children. When someone is hit, whether it’s an adult or a child, a natural reaction is hostility, fear, anger, and resentment. There is research that points out that children experience these same emotions and it affects their future behavior and attitudes — the same as it would an adult.

Second, research also shows that hitting a child as a disciplinary measure simply doesn’t work. It may change an immediate behavior due to the child’s fear of being hit again, but research shows that children who are hit are more likely to be misbehave after five years than children who weren’t hit.

Even supporters of spanking concede that the emotional and mental state of the parent can negatively, and quite harshly so, affect the child on the receiving end. Organizations such as the Family Research Council have noted, even amidst their other recommendations, that “physical abuse by an angry uncontrolled parent will leave lasting emotional wounds and cultivate bitterness and resentment within a child,” and further, “reactive impulsive hitting after losing control due to anger is unquestionably the wrong way for a parent to use corporal punishment“.

Do you think the mom of this teenager who was slapped was administering “balanced” and “prudent” use of spanking, or is it more likely that she was angry, reactive, or impulsive? How many parents are cool, calm and collected when they reach out and spank their children?

The reality is many parents resort to spanking their children out of frustration, when a child has pushed their buttons and refused to obey, with the result being an impulsive smack “to get the child’s attention”. Usually, the parent has simply run out of patience and believes they have the right to hit their children if they want to. Additionally, a parent who chooses to spank may come to rely on it more frequently to get a child’s attention, and use more severe spanking as the child grows older… and bigger.

It may also be useful to realize that parents choose to hit their children, in part, because while the children are small, they are unlikely to hit back. Not too many parents spank their six-foot-tall sons. In addition, parents choose to spank because they lack the patience or education to use more positive — and effective — parenting techniques, or they were hit as a child and simply repeat their parent’s behavior.

I asked a fellow parent, who supports spanking his son as a disciplinary measure, if he thinks spanking his children strengthens his child’s respect for him as a father or mother… or whether it might fuel hostility or anger in the child. The answer: “Spanking teaches my child to respect me”  (because if they don’t, they get spanked again…).

There is a better and more effective way to raise children than resorting to hitting your child when they don’t behave. It requires patience — a boatload of patience, sometimes — along with knowledge about other ways that work better. For more information about positive discipline, check out some of our “Tips For Parents“.

Comments

  1. Jenny
    March 8, 2011 at 6:34 pm

    I have just adopted a 12 year old who slaps me and is violent. What discipline do you recommend? Please don’t say “get counseling” — we are in counseling and I’m sure in the long run it will work, but I need an immediate “positive discipline” technique to use while we are in counseling. Thanks!

    Reply
    • czar
      March 19, 2013 at 3:33 am

      My twin boys, I would use spanking as the last resort, but I would wait and NOT be angry(wait time 8 hours), then Mr. Hand would meet Mr, A$$!!!! They mostly got grounded and I had to use the strap ‘1’ time(age 12), that they will never forget, (drinking, cursing, telling me lies and coming home over 1 hour late)

      Well to end I am very proud of my sons, they are both doctors, they always say we love you Dad, Thanks Dad, So a GOOD spanking would not do harm, just as long as you LOVE your children and explain why they are being spanked.

      Reply
    • rina
      April 12, 2013 at 2:39 am

      humm well idk what exactly to say cuz im just 16 but i think something different, that she isnt expecting. like next time dont get angry at all. try saying “i love u.” or hugging her. she wouldnt be expecting it at all and it will shock her. plus, shes prob lashing out because she is angry, scared, or hurt for whatever reason. remaining calm, and showing that u will love her no matter what she says or does will defuse the anger in her. hope it works! :)

      Reply
    • Laurie Lewis
      April 26, 2013 at 6:10 pm

      Don’t assume that counseling will help. It does not help for many.

      You stepped into a big pile undoubtedly. I would get legal advice to see how to get out of it.

      Reply
  2. admin
    March 21, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    Thank you for reaching out to PCA-NJ for some direction on using positive discipline with your child. This must be quite difficult for you and I imagine quite difficult for your child – reaching out for support is a great first step. You mentioned you are seeing a counselor, which is key because the violent behavior you are seeing may be your child’s current coping mechanism for handling stress, fear, etc. Pre-adolescence is also a difficult time for children and if there is a new school or new surroundings, it may take a while for your child to adjust.

    A direct answer to your question is difficult. However, regardless of whether or not someone defines a “slap” as child abuse or not, it sends the wrong message. A “slap” as a consequence for “hitting” doesn’t teach a child that hitting is wrong, just that you can hit if you’re the adult.

    The most important issue is the safety of all family members, and finding a method to stop the action is a critical first step. There are techniques to limit a child’s ability to attack without hurting the child. These techniques are commonly used to restrain children with oppositional defiance and autism spectrum disorders to name a few. You mentioned you are working with a counselor, and they should be able to demonstrate some techniques for you.

    Positive discipline begins with clear rules and consequences that are explained to the child prior to misbehavior. During an episode is not the time to start explaining what is and isn’t acceptable. Once the episode has passed, or before the next episode, sit down with your child and explain clearly what behaviors you will accept and what will not be tolerated. Outline the consequences for misbehavior. Consequences should fit the severity of the misbehavior. First consider consequences that are natural and logical; this is not always possible. For example; misbehavior while at an event or venue that is fun for your child will result in a consequence such as having to leave the park/party/restaurant/etc.

    Positive Discipline also requires a parent to set clear expectations on the behavior they want to see, therefore along with the misbehavior that will not be tolerated, you should include what you will expect. I recommend that you initially offer rewards when you see this good behavior. Your child may have been in homes where attention was received only when your child misbehaved.

    Along with your expectations of the child, set some expectations for yourself or ask the child what their expectations of you may be. For example, you will not raise your voice in anger or use inappropriate language, you will listen without interrupting or jumping to conclusions too early, you will set aside time for just the two of you to talk or engage in an activity that your child selects, etc.

    Lastly, be consistent, decide what you will and won’t tolerate and stick with the consequences until the negative behaviors are seen only once or twice in a 3-4 month period. When first initiating a behavior plan, parents often fail to give out consequences if they can justify the behavior (he was tired, I should have gotten him home earlier, etc.). Behavior that has a consequence at random intervals is the hardest behavior to change. Think about how often adults speed in their cars – sometimes we get caught, sometimes we get a break, so we take that chance. This is the same for a child; inconsistent consequences leave them thinking “Maybe this time she won’t punish me.”

    Reply
  3. FREEDOM
    April 10, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    MY CHILD IS TWELVE AND I HAVE SOLE CUSTODY AND SHE GOES TO HER DAD ON THE WEEKENDS. HER DADS WAY OF PUNISHING HER IS BEATING HER WITH A BELT. HE TRIES NOT TO LEAVE BRUISES NO WHERE BUT ON HER BUTT BUT SHE CAME HOME WITH BRIUSES ON HER ARMS, LEGS AND BACK. MY DAUGHTER FEARS HER FATHER AND NOW WANTS TO STAY WITH ME. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

    Reply
    • rina
      April 12, 2013 at 2:41 am

      if you have sole custody, just stop taking her to her fathers. or call a lawyer. i understand he might be a scary man but u must protect your child!! good luck!

      Reply
  4. admin
    April 12, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    While we have already privately responded to your question, we wanted to share a bit of information with other parents and caregivers who may be in a similar situation or have similar questions.

    Based on the information you provided, we would recommend that you call to make a report immediately to the NJ Child Abuse Reporting Hotline at 1-877-NJ-ABUSE (1-877-652-2873). They are available and will respond 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If a child is in immediate danger, you should call 911. Any person who, in good faith, makes a report of child abuse or neglect or testifies in a child abuse hearing resulting from such a report is immune from any criminal or civil liability as a result of such action. Calls can be placed to the hotline anonymously. The hotline is answered by trained caseworkers who know how to respond to reports of child abuse/neglect. This caseworker may ask you about:

    – Who: The child and parent/caregiver’s name, age and address and the name of the alleged perpetrator and that person’s relationship to the child.
    – What: Type and frequency of alleged abuse/neglect, current or previous injuries to the child and what caused you to become concerned.
    – When: When the alleged abuse/neglect occurred and when you learned of it.
    – Where: Where the incident occurred, where the child is now and whether the alleged perpetrator has access to the child.
    – How: How urgent the need is for intervention and whether there is a likelihood of imminent danger for the child.

    When a report indicates that a child may be at risk, the Division of Youth and Family Services will promptly investigate the allegations of child abuse and neglect within 24 hours of receipt of the report.

    When there is a question or suspicion of actual incidence of abuse, the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS) is the best agency to respond to your concerns. In New Jersey, the Division of Youth and Family Services is the only entity responsible for responding to child abuse. Our role and responsibility to New Jersey’s children does not involve the authority to investigate suspected abuse or intervene. Like all of New Jersey, we are legally required to forward concerns about suspected abuse to the investigative and protective bodies of the State of NJ.

    Parenting is a job with many rewards, but also many challenges and responsibilities.One of those responsibilities is to guide a child’s direction and help them understand the consequences of their choices. Discipline teaches your child socially acceptable ways of expressing natural desires and drives. Discipline guides your child into adulthood, and does not need to involve spanking or other physical methods of punishment.

    Positive Discipline is based on the understanding that discipline must be taught and that discipline teaches (Nelson, Jane 2006). Children who have been spanked may feel less confident and assertive and more humiliated and helpless. There are many positive discipline methods that can be used to help nurture and support children. An example of a few would include:

    – Demonstrating desirable behavior, for example you do not raise your voice in anger or use inappropriate language, you will listen without interrupting and set aside time to communicate with your child
    – Setting clear expectations on the behavior that you want to see
    – Reward positive behavior and not just acknowledging misbehavior
    – Be consistent
    – Provide options for your child

    There are local resources available in communities throughout New Jersey to help educate parents about how to use positive discipline techniques with their children. There are also agencies that provide education and counseling for parents who are co-parenting and may have different ideas on how to parent.

    For quick reminders about positive discipline, check out PCA-America’s “Teaching Children Discipline” document.

    For more tips on what to do instead of spanking, check out our fact sheet.

    Reply
  5. samantha
    April 25, 2011 at 6:59 pm

    my ex husband and i have 50/50 custody the judge that we saw admitted to his neglect of the children but still gave hime 50% custody. he is a medical marajana user my middle child knows how to smoke out of a bong because of his father he continually smokes marajana in front of these children, also he has admitted to driving around high with the children in the car has taken them on drug runs he overdosed my youngest child on adult medication because his roommate left it down where he could get to it and the child was hospitalized due to the incedent (the child was 2 at the time) is this considerd neglect? all of this has been brought up in court and DHS and nothing has been done. Is there any suggestions?

    Reply
  6. admin
    April 29, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    Similar to the comment above, based on the information you provided, we would recommend that you call to make a report immediately to the NJ Child Abuse Reporting Hotline at 1-877-NJ-ABUSE (1-877-652-2873). They are available and will respond 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If a child is in immediate danger, you should call 911. We are including the same information below for your reference:

    Any person who, in good faith, makes a report of child abuse or neglect or testifies in a child abuse hearing resulting from such a report is immune from any criminal or civil liability as a result of such action. Calls can be placed to the hotline anonymously. The hotline is answered by trained caseworkers who know how to respond to reports of child abuse/neglect. This caseworker may ask you about:

    – Who: The child and parent/caregiver’s name, age and address and the name of the alleged perpetrator and that person’s relationship to the child.
    – What: Type and frequency of alleged abuse/neglect, current or previous injuries to the child and what caused you to become concerned.
    – When: When the alleged abuse/neglect occurred and when you learned of it.
    – Where: Where the incident occurred, where the child is now and whether the alleged perpetrator has access to the child.
    – How: How urgent the need is for intervention and whether there is a likelihood of imminent danger for the child.

    When a report indicates that a child may be at risk, the Division of Youth and Family Services will promptly investigate the allegations of child abuse and neglect within 24 hours of receipt of the report.

    When there is a question or suspicion of actual incidence of abuse, the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS) is the best agency to respond to your concerns. In New Jersey, the Division of Youth and Family Services is the only entity responsible for responding to child abuse. Our role and responsibility to New Jersey’s children does not involve the authority to investigate suspected abuse or intervene. Like all of New Jersey, we are legally required to forward concerns about suspected abuse to the investigative and protective bodies of the State of NJ.

    Reply
  7. Bob
    July 24, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    I think either we should make slapping child abuse or set a limit on how hard you can actualy slap your child. For starts it does make a child more angry and in my case my dads slaps me and any time someone gives me a high five or raises their hand I flinch and or duck because of being slaped so much. But another thing I have seen (with my dad alot) is if the parent(s) were in the military (or still are) they tend to be more agressive to the child as in punishments.

    Reply
  8. Jess
    July 30, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    I’m 15 and I’ve been physically abused as a child as a “disciplinary” action ever since I can remember. Nothing has really left scars or bruises, but it has definitely put strains on the relationships in our family. I can tell you, my family is definitely not a normal one. When I was younger, I remember my mom pulling down my pants and repeatably spanking my bare behind until it was red. And as I got older, she started to slap me in the face very very hard. As Bob said above, I get scared just when I see her raise a hand when she’s angry. Lately, she first takes me by the hair so hard, I can feel her tension within her, and I get major headaches afterwords. Then, she slaps me, but just anywhere on my head, hard. She also drags me and shoves me.
    My dad isn’t as bad. Only when I was really little, he used to shove me down and shove is finger in my face, hard. And last year, he picked me up by the throat across my family room. Other than that, he discourages violence in our house, but only by simply saying…stop. Whooppdiee dooo..that helped. Because he refuses to help me because he’d rather get back to his own business.
    I COMPLETELY agree, slapping your child DOES NOT change the amount of respect they have for you. In my case, I only build up more anger towards my parents and only more fighting and screaming occurs. I feel I haven’t grown up in a normal family, receiving the childhood I deserve because of all of the violence that does on. I see my friends families and how well they get along and go places together and it makes me cry. I wonder …why couldn’t I grow up in a family like that?
    Even if you need bruises, scars, etc. to show proof of child abuse and slapping, shoving, and hair pulling does not provide it, what if it escalates? What if one day, I get shoved and land on something and hurt my back? Then it’s too late! Screw the fact that you need evidence. I’m being HURT! Emotionally and physically. I just don’t know what to do anymore when my mom is hurting me and my dad refuses to get involved. Who can I go to for help?
    Oh and by the way, 20 minutes after a fight, my mom will talk to me and act like nothing happened, but she doesn’t know that the passes 20 minutes, I’ve been upstairs, staining my pillowcase with tears and making my eyes puffy and she gets to do whatever she wants. She never even apologizes for ANYTHING and refuses to ever talk to me and explain her reasoning about anything and that is what usually starts fights.

    Reply
    • rina
      April 12, 2013 at 2:46 am

      im so sorry! im 16 and i know that u can leave ur family to become an indepentdent adult when u turn 16 if u want. call a lawyer! or the police- this is definately child abuse and u need to get out of there. protect yourself and your siblings if u have any!! dont be afraid :)

      Reply
  9. Bryan miller
    August 1, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    A slap or 3 on occasion is not going to create a monster

    If if they are being beaten, that’s different

    But if my son or daughter are pushing outside the envelope, they might get a slight sting to wake them up as a warning

    But to make everything child abuse is just stupid

    Some kids need a slap or two

    Reply
  10. MIchie
    September 23, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    I am so sick and tired of everything being child abuse. You cant slap a child if they talk back, no spanking because it is wrong. My child DOES NOT respond to time out, taking things away. He has massive behaviors. The cops said to slap him. The cops encourage whipping his butt with a belt or a paddle. That is why the USA is screwed up with kids going crazy because they decided to make everything abuse. I get CYFD called on me, and this is #3, yet there are kids with horrifying marks from being beat, no food, neglect, drug abuse and more and they are after me. I am sick of the BS they and the school pulls by teaching them everything that a parent does is child abuse. Like my friend said the only reason there are social workers is because they are too stupid to get a real degree!!

    Reply
  11. Rachel
    October 2, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    My mother-in-law’s dog is loud, afraid of children, and is known for biting. We had my brother-in-law over recently and I witnessed him slap his 5-year-old in the face several times while yelling at him because he had shrieked when the dog ran up to him barking. The dog even startled me and this adorable little boy was being, in my opinion, severely punished for no reason. I feel that I should have said something, but at the time, I felt out of place to do so. It makes me sick to think about. I’ve heard from several people that he abuses his children, so I try not to let that bias my opinion.. Even still, I remain upset with the situation. I even googled ‘is slapping a child considered abuse’. Am I overreacting? Should I have said something? If I should, who should I have said something to and how should I have said it? Is there anything I could do or could have done to help the child?

    That same day, he got into an argument with his mother (unrelated) in front of the children and blindly threw a large rubber ball out of anger. It bounced and hit my one-year-old son, nearly (thank goodness) knocking my son down a set of stairs. I instantly ran for my baby and carried him inside for a breather before letting him know that his behavior was unacceptable around children in my home. I kept my composer very well, I thought, but I have taken a lot of heat from the family since. They clearly live by different social norms than what I am use to. I don’t know how else to handle the situation and I fear what my baby will be exposed to in the future. What should I say and/or do?

    Reply
    • czar
      March 19, 2013 at 3:56 am

      YOU ARE NOT A GOOD MOTHER!!!!! If this was my child, I would of called the cops and charge him with abuse! If that didn’t work, I would pay someone to brake or crush his hands! I love my boys way to much to see this happen! NO WAY JOSE !!!!!!!

      Reply
  12. Ronnie
    October 7, 2011 at 6:31 pm

    I love it when people Flaunt the “sources” reasoning yet they don’t give thier references to such

    Reply
  13. admin
    October 20, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story with us, Rachel. It is undoubtedly a difficult situation you are in.

    While our agency does not investigate or make decisions about specific circumstances, any time you suspect abuse or neglect could be occurring, you can contact the child abuse/neglect hotline at 1-877-NJ-ABUSE toll free, 7 days a week/24 hours a day. You can report suspected abuse/neglect anonymously or give your information, and can find more regarding this number and process at http://www.nj.gov/dcf/abuse/how/.

    It is common for individuals to question parenting behavior they see when they are in public. PCA-NJ provides a tip sheet for parents on this topic located at http://www.preventchildabusenj.org/documents/parents_informational_brochures/Tip%20%2310%20What%20you%20can%20do.pdf. Some of the experiences and tips listed may be helpful to you.

    It is important that you are recognizing your own feelings about this situation and are considering your decisions about what you would like to expose your own child to in the future. While these decisions may be difficult, it demonstrates your desire to be the best parent you can be and we hope your story will inspire other readers to think about this topic as well.

    Thank you again for sharing your story.

    Reply
  14. Webbie
    October 29, 2011 at 3:38 am

    This is crazy…I don’t understand why slapping a child on the face is NOT child abuse! In school we have ALWAYS been encourage to NOT BULLY/HIT others! Why teach us something at school..and then tell us else wise when we become adults? Seriously, this government system is horrible! How can they just turn a blind eye and say yeah don’t worry about it you won’t be cuffed if you slap your child on the face (I understand 1 time accident) It’s just frowned upon……but like the article had said once you slap..matters WILL progressively turn for the worst! There are A LOT of other ways to punish a child if they misbehaved.. If a child is slapped on the face and it had resorted to the child having a bloody nose you’ve got to tell me that is child abusive right? Or the parent tends to slap the kid on the face when the parent thinks the kid has done wrong? This is just all wrong…….YOU HAVE GOT TO THINK ABOUT IT IN A CHILD’S PERSPECTIVE….about the child’s safety …..

    Reply
  15. trezha
    November 23, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    Some kids or teens nothing gets their attention like slapping. In my highschool in Africa d students r very disrespectful nd only slapping or flogging works. Trust me!!!Even suspension doesn’t change anything because d more suspensions u hv d cooler u r .

    Reply
  16. Katy
    November 30, 2011 at 3:18 am

    Of course Its abuse! I recently graduated college and am married with a two year old and a three year old. I’m 27, and married. I would never under any circumstance think about harming a child. Slapping a child In the face is abusive. Sure, my mother may have hit me on the bum with a wooden spoon every once in a while. I probably got swatted five times in my whole life. But I’ll never forget this one time. I was 13 and my dad was yelling at me about doing something and I ignored him and said ‘Screw you’. He stormed into my room, yelled at me and slapped me in the face probably three or four times. To this day my relationship with him has been strained and it all started when he slapped me. It’s not the pain but it’s very demeaning, especially to a teenager. Anyone who can justify hitting a child is obviously sick. If your adult mother/father slapped you as an adult, you would feel incredibly angry, and it’s the same for a lot of kids. My husband completely agrees, it’s not the act itself, its the emotion behind it that really scars kids and will decimate your relationship. I was completely fine with my dad, and after he slapped me it just kept escalating over the years to the point where he wasn’t invited to the wedding and I no longer speak to him. So before you hit your child, think about how they could be traumatized,

    Reply
  17. alyssa
    December 18, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    i totally agres with Jess. the exact same things happen to me but the parents are switched. i hate it so much. on several occasions ive tried killing myself to get away from it. and im 14 and this has been happening from as long as i can remember. he always yells at my mom and shoves her and she doesnt like it and i try to stop him but when my dad does that to me, she doesnt do anything about it. i hate it so much. i just cant take it any more. and he pulls my hair to all the time and when he finally lets go, he has a handful of my hair. what do you suppose i do about it and what should i do to stop it???.

    Reply
  18. Ricardo Nogueira
    January 30, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    There are SEVERAL ways to discipline a child, there is no need for physical aggression!

    The Bible in the New Testament (New Covenant) DOESN’T mention anything about the need of physical aggression to discipline a child.

    The truth is that parents hit their children because they get angry and choose to release their anger on their children.

    In the old testament the majority didn’t have access to the Holy Spirit, but today it’s totally different!

    If parents pray, fast, and live a Godly life… then God himself will bring peace to any situation.

    We shouldn’t yell , nor commit physical aggression by no means!

    If a child is not behaving well is because the parents aren’t following Jesus the way they should.

    We should act like humans and not animals! Even animals like dogs are well trained without physical aggression. Why can’t humans do the same?

    It’s a shame the lack of discernment regarding this issue.

    You don’t realize how tender the soul of a child is! Any lack of biblical discernment applied on a child will harm its soul and bring serious consequences for the rest of their lives!

    A child behavior is a reflection of the soul state of its parents.

    *When you worship God and enter into His presence, what do you feel? Peace, joy, love…
    *When demons/unclean spirits get to surround you, what do you feel? Agitation, torment, hate, rebellion…

    Parents who are not living a Godly life will transfer everything to their children.

    In other others, bring heaven to your child and it will have peace & learn to obey.

    Jesus thought us to give the other check. So let’s have the true love and exercise patient with wisdom to educate children.

    God bless you.

    Reply
  19. Sean
    January 30, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    Life isn’t about feelings people, feelings come and go, so stop worrying about hurting your children’s feelings so much THEY WILL GET OVER IT!

    I will never forget the first time I said f*ck to my father he didn’t let me forget it, he chokeslammed me into my bathroom and reminded me quite firmly who I was talking to. My behavior straightened out. I was no angel child, but I had CONFIDENCE, RESPECT AND COMPASSION, regardless of the trouble I got in.

    Have you seen the undisciplined children today? Mimicking MTV and every other horrible thing that passes their way. School suspension is a right of initiation to these brats. My girlfriend’s youngest sisters are little skanks because their mother gave up parenting and just keels to their every whim and desire to keep the peace rather than discipline them. They will pay in the future for their lack of manners and respect.

    I have no desire to hit my son, but it is absolutely necessary when basic punishments fail. Only the weak support calling discipline child abuse. It is never to be used excessively and only as a last resort.

    Reply
  20. Erin
    February 16, 2012 at 6:49 pm

    About the thing about not slapping your 6 foot son…. My mum is quite small about 5 foot 6, my older brother who is 18 and 6 foot 3, whenever he is being annoying or give my mum cheek she just says “you may be a lot taller and stronger than me but you’re never too old for a slap boy!” and that ALWAYS shuts him up! She still gives me the odd slap on the arm or leg if I annoy her and I’m 16….maybe its different for other people but she never hesitated to yell and slap me and my siblings and to this day we’re still scared of her and don’t step out of line, so it obviously worked….however since she got a new boyfriend she has softened up and doesn’t really slap my youngest bro who is 3, and he is a little brat! There are so many times she would of slapped me if I’d behaved the same way, you know I’d never even HEARD of a ‘naughty step’ until I was 13 and watched an episode of supernanny :/

    Reply
  21. Ben
    February 17, 2012 at 11:27 am

    @Sean: I was beaten by my father, now I only wish his heart stopped beating too.

    Reply
  22. (no name availible)
    February 17, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    IT IS ABUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Put it in logic. Even a simple smack on the butt is violent. The fact that it happens in the household makes it “domestic”.
    (this one requires THINKING) put those words together, hmmm, it’s voilence in the domestic form, that makes it DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, and you add the fact that it is a CHILD that’s involved, that makes it CHILD ABUSE duh.

    Reply
  23. hikick1
    February 27, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    Get real with your advice. By the time someone wants to slap a teenager in this culture we have today, there is an extremely good chance that teenager is well past the limit. This society has us doing time outs, privilege removal, and other non-contact efforts. We are getting sociopaths and bi-polar terrors for it. I believe the good old days of corporal punishment was more effective. Especially in school. That was when the village(school) help bring up the child. Now the village is forced to fire/reprimand teachers for caring about discipline (ex:Natalie Monroe incident). Get a grip and take the rose colored glasses off. These kids today are more cunning, heartless, selfish, and mental than we ever thought possible. Please note: I am only speaking of 50% of them, but they are harrassing and spoiling the whole buch. So a slap is more than likely well past due.

    Reply
  24. mother of two
    March 7, 2012 at 8:25 am

    I am a mother of two a 12 year daughter and a 7 year old son . Smacking your a child once or twice is not wrong and no its not child abuse . It will will not scar them for the rest of their lives absolutely not ! It will teach them to have respect Now if smack your kids violently and injured them thats a different story. I don’t smack my children around for no reason , when they misbehave or act out I smack them . As all loving parents do , I show my kids love and guide them. Show them affectionate , talk to them ,explain your reason . I see so many young ones these days how they disrespect they’re authority figures by slamming doors ,cussing and even worst hitting . That is why I strongly believe that spanking , smacking your children is necessary. Some parents are afraid to , thinking that it will only make them bad parents in their children’s perspective! Your wrong children will text you and when you show that lack of discipline , they take advantage of it and that’s when all the rebelious behavior starts. As loving , caring parent we have to teach our children in our home because if they disrespect you how do you think they would act outside of your home? again there is a big difference between abuse and spanking.

    Reply
  25. Brooke
    March 22, 2012 at 12:00 am

    I am yelled at everyday, I’ve been called a bitch,and worse by my own parents! I’ve never had a detention and I always try to do the right thing but,my parents don’t even care. Yesterday, I was slapped across the face by my mother because, I had a missing assignment. My dad was in the air force he’s big and pretty scary looking on more than one occasion he’s called me a little bitch and slapped me. He’s also hit and pushed my mother before. If you think slapping makes the child respect you it doesn’t, I’m treated like a slave. I can’t wait until I have my own house and children, then I’ll tell my parents how much I hate all they’ve done to me and not be afraid to say so. And, I’ll treat my kids like normal kids and let them have a happy childhood.

    Reply
  26. Cathy Wills
    March 27, 2012 at 12:30 am

    @erin, hikick1 & mom of two:

    THANK YOU!!!.

    A slap is not child abuse. If a child’s behavior is out of line then it is justified. I have 7 children with one more on the way and I give corporal (sp?) punishment to my children when they act out. Has anyone seen just how disgusting children’s behavior has become in society today?? It is of no consequence to you to allow your children to go into this world with no direction or home training?? That is exactly what happens when you dont care enough to punish your children accordingly!

    I can understand punishment being called abuse when awful things happen but to say that slapping is abuse is stupid.

    I want to know where the help was for Peter Boy Kema Jr. when his horrible patents abused him to death and buried him. The State of Hawaii let him go home when they knew how horribly he was treated. To this day no one has found him and the animals whi mafe him claim they left him in a homeless park with one of his “aunties!!” Hos parents claim they dont know who they gave him to.

    http://www.charleyproject.org/cases/k/kema_peter.html

    http://archives.starbulletin.com/2005/06/01/news/story3a.html

    WHERE WAS CPS AND STATE INTERVENTION THEN WHEN IT WAS SO DESPERATELY NEEDED. WHY IS IT THAT AGENCIES LIKE CPS GET MORE MONEY THE MORE KIDS THEY REMOVE FROM THEIR FAMILIES. “HEY WE CAN STILL KEEP A PAYCHECK IF WE TAKE KIDS OUT IF THEIR HOMES EVEN WHEN IT IS PROVEN THERE IS NO ABUSE!! THIS IS WHAT WAS DONE IN WASHINGTON STATE:

    http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474976947990

    http://truthinjustice.org/victims-fury.htm

    Time to grow up, deal with real child abuse and quit having stupid conversations where one need not exist.

    (excuse my spelling!! Phone keyboards sucks!!)

    Reply
  27. Lisa C
    April 25, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    Do you consider beating a childs butt until it’s black and blue and having someone hold them down to do it child abuse?
    Concerned Grandparent

    Reply
  28. anonymous
    April 28, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    First of all FEAR IS NOT RESPECT. When are people going to realize that ANYTHING you do to a child effects them past, present, and in the future. Who has the right to say what is considered child abuse? When do we draw the line or say that was too much? How is any pain caused out of anger ok in anyway? And what about that parent who only “occasionally” smacks, slaps, or spanks their child but gradually gets more violent? In no way is pain ok to inflict on a child. There shouldn’t be “limits” on what kind of pain we inflict on our child. Their minds are so sensitive and they absorb everything in their surroundings.
    I grew up with a mother who was abused physically, emotionally, and sexually. I have seen her pain growing up without even knowing her past. It wasn’t until I was a jr in high school that she had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized. She now lives a life of pain and loneliness and is highly medicated. Feelings do not just go away. Even just the parent that is beating their child because that was how their parent/s did it is still wrong. They may feel its right but its NOT ok. My mothers emotions have also effected my siblings and I even though she never hit any of us. My brother and sister both live with depression, anxiety, social disorders, and so. I myself suffer from anxiety and in the past depression.
    When will people learn that we need to end the cycle? Any pain inflicted on a child intentionally should be considered abuse. Whether there was good intentions or not. In the end you may have a child that got smacked as a punishment and later on in life think its ok to do the same to their children and it may get out of control or they may go to far. They will learn that physical behavior is the right way to solve conflict.
    Let’s not focus on what’s ok and what’s not but look at the big picture and the kids who are suffering from abuse. How can we say it’s ok for you to hit your kid because you do it on occasion but that person can’t because they went too far and didn’t realize it. Child abuse should not be acceptable in any way, shape, or form, and anyone should have no problem understanding that if you take a second and look at the whole picture of where abuse can lead a child through their child and adulthood. There is no excuse to inflict pain or fear into a child to get “respect.”

    Reply
  29. Ally
    May 18, 2012 at 7:34 am

    My parents usually slap me, just to “keep me in line”. But I hate it and I usually want to run away from them… I don’t want to live with any of my family because they all put so much pressure on me.. I’m only 12 years old, I get good grades and everything but they always put lots of pressure on me. For ex. My mother who hates living where we are is always talking to me, pressuring me into saying yes for going back to where we used to live.. But i love where we live because I’m close to my friends, they’re people that actually keep me happy, if they werent here i would have done suicide..My dad always whines.. I have to keep lots of secrets from my parents because I know how they will react to it. I also hate how they shout at me if I don’t do something correctly, they make me feel guilty and call me selfish if I don’t give them something. I’ve never loved my dad, ever since I was little he was never around when I was little. I feel uncomfortable around him. Help me please..

    Reply
  30. jennifer
    June 15, 2012 at 1:13 am

    I call dcf on the father of my kids because he not following the doctor rules and my kods have a big fear to leave with him and hit them with the belt in the hands and in the legs he put stuff on my kids head he found out that i call social worker on him so he say see you in court and he say they taking the kids away from me becaise my oldest son say that i slap him in the mom. Do you think by slapping your child soft in the mouth is child abuse would they take my kids away from me.

    Reply
  31. aisling
    June 20, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    My dad slaps me on the hand and bum when im being bols im twelve yrs old is it child abuse or just discipline

    Reply
  32. aisling
    June 20, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    Sorry about my spelling earlier but my dad was coming and hes really angry today…

    Reply
  33. maria
    July 29, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    to aisling,I feel so sorry for you.yes it is child abuse nad your parents should be ashamed of themselves,i hope you have someone to talk to.

    Reply
  34. Joe
    July 31, 2012 at 9:32 am

    I’m sorry, but this is the reason why this generation is screwed up, because parents are afraid to discipline their kids. There’s a really well defined line between abusing your child, like most of the posts here, and disciplining your child. What was the circumstances that the step-mother slapped the girl for? I’ll put the money that girl lost it was because she got in step-mother’s face screaming and calling her every obscenity under the sun because she was mad because she was getting called out. That slap was warranted and probably a long time coming. I thankfully never got abused as a child, but I ONLY got popped once or twice because I learned quickly. I wasn’t stupid and realized the errors of my ways (and remembered) because I should not have talked to my mother or father the way that I did, because I was being disrespectful, because I got confronted about something I had done wrong (anyone not done chores because they were bumming around?). It taught me actions/consequence, made me a better man, I’ve never been arrested, had “mommy/daddy” issues, and I’m successful based on my parents discipline and values. Looking at some weak parent’s kids and their relationships, I am glad my parents steered me the right way. That’s the difference. You should never beat a child, only a coward beats a kid or takes anger out on a child. But as a parent of four good kids, they’ve felt my hand on a very rare occasion, and it’s was always over something serious such as stealing from another sibling, a SEVERELY disrespectful tone when I’m calm, or something dangerous. 99.9% of the time, I use the positive discipline or non-physical discipline, and it’s effective and I have extremely healthy, positive, and properly supportive(not an overbearing perfectionist) relationship with my children. But my kids know better just as much (if not more) because of that rare pop to mouth or the butt as from the non-physical and positive discipline. Kids these days that walk over their parents are doing so because they’ve never learned consequences, and that ladies and gentlemen, starts at home. I’d say this big change started about 15-20 years ago and it’s because of lack of parental discipline options and weak parents. I guess the previous couple of thousand years of parenting got it wrong huh. To the kids on here like Brooke, thats abuse. But to the rest of you, if you’re screaming in your parents face because you don’t want to own up to your mistakes like intentionally missing curfew, and you got slapped, take a step back for a second and think about why that just happened. It wasn’t YOUR parent’s mistake or their denial or refusal of YOUR responsibility, it was your’s.

    Reply
  35. crissy
    September 13, 2012 at 1:17 am

    my 5 year old step son just jumped and put his hand over his face when i went to pull his finger out of his nose, BOYS LOL, and when i asked him why he jumped he said cuz mommy slaps me and it hurts. spanking doesnt bother me and yes he is HER son but his little sad face when he said that flew all over me, i dont know what to do about it

    Reply
  36. alicia
    November 21, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    spanking your children is not always the answer to everything you lose all the trust they had to you. You scar them sometimes for life and no this generation is screwed up because they are afraid of what they will think of them what they would do,and i am saying this by expirance.

    Reply
  37. Alexandra
    December 6, 2012 at 3:25 am

    Weather or not i think it’s child abuse doesn’t matter my opinion isn’t gonna change the law but I will tell you that hitting your kids does nothing. I was hit many times by my mother and you know what I hated her and I was scared of her and all it did was make me depressed because I never talked about what I was feeling cause if my mom heard it would be worse than it was last time. Now I’m only 14 and luckily my parents are getting a divorce and can anybody guess which parent I choose to live with? It’s my dad of course. I do not respect my mom actually I think she is crazy for thinking its ok to hit me and I honestly can’t wait for the day I’m bigger than her because then I can actually make it stop. My mom yells and hits and its not right parents don’t have the right to hit a child I don’t care how bad they are misbehaving you don’t hit! School tells us all day long not to hit and that violence is not the answer and the parents who hit are turning right around and contradicting that. My dad is just as bad he didn’t hit me but he didn’t stop my mother either. There was only one time he stoped her and she had already gone to far at that point cause she broke my nose. I thought I hated her before that but I was wrong that was the end of our relationship as far as I was concerned she was dead to me that was 4 years ago and nothing has changed. So many mull that over that if you take it too far you relationship with your child can be over in a split second because you were mad and hit them out of reflex but hit them to hard. Think about that!

    Reply
  38. unknown
    December 11, 2012 at 10:04 pm

    I’m 12 years old my mom whips me with a hanger, extension cord,that stick thing that be on ur window to fix the blinds, belt, anything that will hurt, she beat me so bad I start to lose my breath and when I scream she tells me to shut up but it hurts and u know ill keep screaming . She would punch me and slap me in the face and she gives my brothers and sisters permission to do these things to me also is this abuse what shud I do I don’t talk to my dad or andthing about it because I don’t wanna stir up nothing. And plus she takes advantage of my dad and famlies wealth and spends the money they give me on drugs and gas and I know how to smoke weed now I know ho to french inhale becase she smoks it infront of me and smokes it with my older sister
    I had to sleep on the floor for over a year my bro had to buy me a bed and its just sad I sleep on the floor while she has a big bed and its queen size
    Anyway people tell me it causes me to have bad behavior when my mother do these things but ill never tell on her I love her but her parents did this to her so much she did this to her children and it won’t stop.

    Reply
  39. ashley
    December 11, 2012 at 10:26 pm

    My mom will slap me in the face and when I slammed my door she came in and slapped my arm and I screamed. It was like doing a belly flop from 3 stories high. My step dad was in the military when he hits me it hurts worse. When I Sade I don’t care my mom slapped my foot really hard. Is this considered child abuse. I am 12 in 6 grade I don’t know what to do please help me

    Reply
  40. anonymous
    December 13, 2012 at 11:33 pm

    My parents were horrible. Nothing I did was right. I got hit with a belt, a paddle, an extension cord or whatever else they could find, every single day of my life. I was chained to my bed and to a chair every day and night. They beat me so bad i bled constantly. At the age of 12 my father took a baseball bat and broke both my legs so severely, the bones came thru, all because i was trying to run away. I was never rescued from dyfs, my school, or any adult. I am now 20 and live far away from them. I dont believe that hurting a child ever is appropriate. It just teaches them to hate all people especially authority.

    Reply
  41. taylor
    January 10, 2013 at 12:31 am

    I just want to say I am eleven and my sister is nine and she just got slapped by her mom and it makes me want to cry a lot.my sis got slapped in the face and it ain’t child abuse she got slapped in the face cause she keep lying and I feel bad. Child abuse it when. Upbeat ur child to death and injure them but she slapped her hard but not hard were she can make a bruise but my stepmom loves her and all of my family and they spoil us sometimes if we keep reapeeating to us then they will spanking us not hard just lima a sting to get out attention.I still think what her mom did was wrong but she told her y and talk to her and ya now she happy and tired from crying a lil.

    Reply
  42. Hadriana
    January 10, 2013 at 8:00 pm

    If a mom is upset is it right if she,slaps,punches, chokes,bangs their head against the wall,or spank them with a extension cord or belt,wooden spoon,or spatula? Even if the child is in need of discipline? Does it matter the severity of the punishment of how much trouble they get into to? Or is the parent right for discipline since he/she is living under their roof? Would the child get tooken away from their mom?

    Reply
  43. sammy
    January 11, 2013 at 6:22 pm

    Jenny- the best discipline for this would be positive and negative reiforcement.Meaning reward the good actions and punish the bad without the use of pysical punishment. I’ll give some examples:

    pos reinforcement:
    -rewards and sanctions such as a sweet or chocolate
    -cook the childs fave meals if good
    -give her extra special treats if very good like a family trip or outing!

    neg reinforcement:
    -grounding
    -no spending money
    -no fun such as television, computersfor the whole day
    -make her something healthy that she doesn’t like and tell her she will not get to eat her favourite food until her beahviour improves
    -tell her seriously that until she does not learn to respect you, you will not say a word to her!

    Reply
  44. David
    January 16, 2013 at 12:54 am

    Come on people. Let’s get over the corporal punishment issue here. We should never be hitting the people we love no matter the reason!

    I’m 48 years old and just now starting to deal with issues I have as a result of corporal punishment as a kid. My parents drove a wedge between us with physical punishment that included bare butt spankings, later I escalated in retaliation anger and so did they. Eventually as a teen it progressed to fights with my dad.

    I will be the first to claim that I was never actually physically abused by a parent, but the damage was more emotional. I was generally a good kid, the oldest of 7, and ran the family farm mostly on my own for a few years while dad took a second job to pay the bills, but as with every kid I had my moments and my parents chose corporal punishment through my whole life with them. Once I left home I never had the urge to return, and while I felt guilty I never understood until recently the resentment I have harbored so deep for decades.

    For years I just ignored these feeling issues I had; anxieties and stress related problems that seem to actually be offshoots of issues I experienced as a kid. It’s just not worth it to physically punish your kid – learn how to deal with them, speak to them and explain issues to them. My parents lost me emotionally when I was 8, and with every swat after that I only became more distant and resentful!

    I still can’t discuss this openly without major tears – it doesn’t make logical sense to me, but emotions aren’t exactly logical. Dad won’t even attempt to discuss this, and claims he doesn’t remember anything about it – good for him I guess.

    So do kids really get over corporal punishment? I would guess most do; even though I thought I was over this it’s come back to haunt me.

    PLEASE DON’T HIT YOUR KIDS!!!

    Reply
  45. lollilpop
    February 18, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    lighten up im 11 yrs old my mom is not afraid to spank me i have only talked back ounce and she slapped me and i have never talked back since then slapping a child in the face is not child abuse unless u slap them really hard if u have a hood reason and its not to hard my mom spanks me all the time if i forget to do something but it reminds me next time it makes me the person who i am my mom is a very loving person she would never leave a bruise on me on purpose the point is it isnt going to scare me for life if she slaps me i mean come on if that scares somone life the need to get a peice of the real world it discipline dont hit your kids in anger thats when they get mad hitting a child is not abuse its dicsipline and u shouldnt tell children it is abuse MARIA becuase then they have a grudgebon their parents they dont just slap them for no reason thay do it for you not becuase thay want u to feel pain so u dont lose respect and so u are a better person and that person that everyone talks about becuase they are rude i get spanked proball every three weeks but i hardly ever do the same mistake again becuase i know it put stress on my mom and i love her i wouldnt be here without her so a slap on the face is not going to scare them and if it does that mean u have spoiled them their whole lives or never hit thwm or disciplined abuse and spankens are two different things why have to think there one

    Reply
  46. lollilpop
    February 18, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    i mean they dont do it for you to feel pain

    Reply
  47. Brittany
    March 18, 2013 at 6:57 pm

    My father has slapped both me and my mother since I was a little girl. I am now 23 years old and I have so much resentment built up towards him. I just found out that the same thing is happening to my sisters ages 12 and 10. I really don’t want them to have to go through the same thing I did. What can I do to save them? I really need help.

    Reply
  48. kristy
    April 11, 2013 at 4:53 am

    Im doing parent child interaction therapy and i am loving it i have just started a few weeks ago and alreadt notice small changes in my children but i deffenitly still get upset and forget the rules but im sure with time i will improve its something the school reffered us to cause he runs from his teachers and i alot and its getting dangerous for him to do this and i cant ever go somewhere and let his hand go or he is running just thought i would share what we are trying its basically a therapy to teach parents the positve way instead of negative but everyone whos involved in the child has to be on board hope it helps

    Reply
  49. Vincent
    April 13, 2013 at 5:51 am

    I agree with the emotional scars left behind. Im a straight A student, having no plans to be involved in illegal activity nor drinking or smoking. Instead of grounding us, like a normal family, she’d slap us. Occasionalally, out of the 4 serious arguments we had (meaning it lasted more than 10 seconds) 3 of them would include slapping. The first serious argument, I didn’t bother to stop the slap. But when she did hit me, I grew furious. The part where the child would grow more misbehaved was correct. I grew more distrustful to my mom. Then on the second argument, out of the corner of my eye, I saw her hand strike down. I quickly fended it off, and she grew really really furious and slapped me really hard, that the skin was red and swollen. Usually, our arguments would start if I didn’t work at the restraunt we owned. Not only is she hitting an slapping, but also forcing me (a child) to work at a restraunt we owned. Now I hate my mom and plan to move far away once I grow up.

    Reply
  50. Concerned Aunt
    June 5, 2013 at 3:53 am

    I found this website because I was looking to better understand what the laws were for hitting a child. As an adult who was hit as a child, I am firmly against it and have many long conversations with my mother about the affect it has had on my siblings and I. My concern is now for my 9 year old nephew, who I already take to therapy sessions bi-weekly for a multitude of issues ranging from emotional to behavioral. His parents are split up and his mother is raising him with the help of my parents and I. Recently it was brought to my attention that my sister had asked my nephews therapist if she was allowed to “spank” her son, to which the therapist had supposedly responded, yes – on his bottom with an open hand.

    While I’m not completely opposed to the occasional spanking, I do find issue with this advice. While it is seemingly very clear, my sister has taken this to include a variety of behaviors, i.e.- flicking, swatting, spanking which ever portion of his body is most easily accessible. I experienced this first hand just the other day while having lunch at a local diner, where she grabbed him more aggressively each time, before finally swatting him hard on the arm and shoving him down in his seat. The child was already sitting and was looking around waiting to be told we were ready to leave. When I asked why why she hit him and that he had done nothing wrong, I was immediately told to play shrink with someone else and that he’s been driving her crazy all day – it was barely 2 pm! She then told me his therapist gave her full permission to spank him on the bottom with an open palm.

    When we returned to my parent’s house, I spoke with my mother and found that since she had gotten “permission” to spank, the spankings have evolved into a variety hitting methods which generally leave no marks. She has also begun calling him names like “you little a$$hole” and asking him if he is retarded or stupid. She does not drink or do drugs, but has had a severe anger problem for much of her life.

    Her son has also recently come home with a bruised temple from spending time with her at her boyfriends house. He has a son of about the same age and supposedly they were “rough housing” and he accidentally was hit in the face. When asked in private, her son tells another story; his mother wasn’t looking and her boyfriend hit him and told her they were playing around while eating.

    I’m at a loss for what to do at this point, because when I asked my sister if any of this was true, I was told he was lying and that I should just mind my own business and that there was nothing I needed to worry about since he was not my kid. She has even threatened that if I even try to visit him she will call the cops on me. As I am the only one who has been taking him to therapy, which has been helping him cope with his parents issues, as well as always trying to find positive out-of-school activities for him to do, I worry he will start to show negative behaviors again and that his grades may slip, as he is currently an honor roll student despite all the challenges at home.

    One last thing that I find troubling, is that my nephew stated after we came home from the diner, that he deserved to be hit. He said he understood that his mommy was stressed out and that he should know better than to make her angry when she’s already upset and should not push her buttons. He knows she loves him and that’s why she must punish him. He was visibly upset and had been told during the short car-ride home that he was being punished because he had caused a disagreement between his mother and I and that it was not ok for him to spend time with me for awhile because of that.

    I think it may also be important to note that my nephew has been diagnosed with ADHD and has in the past been prescribed a variety of medications to treat his diagnosis. He has since been taken off all medications due to extreme adverse reactions such as heart palpitations, various ticks which had become increasingly worse the longer he was on the medications (+2 yrs). Although the medications did not significantly alter his behavior, once the medication was stopped (at the dr’s suggestion), all side-effects disappeared, nervous ticks and all, the behavior issues generally only happen when he is with his mother, and even then, his behavior is seemingly typical to any other child of that age and gender…

    Am I just being over-protective or is this a sign of possible worse things to come? Should I discuss this with his therapist separately?

    Reply
  51. Danielle
    June 21, 2013 at 1:20 am

    I just want to say, that spanking, or hitting a child will never teach them discipline. In fact I believe they will respect you less and act out more often. In my case, I never respected my parents when they hit me. It was my sister whom I truly respect, even to this day. It was because when I was little and did something wrong, she would never hit me, she would tell me to calm down and explain why I did this. Then she would tell me what I did wrong, and have me apologize. After that she would hug me and tell me never to do it again. I believe that in order to earn the respect and discipline from your child, you should never strike them in any way.

    Reply
  52. Bre
    June 25, 2013 at 7:56 pm

    Hitting kids is STUPID!!!!!!!!!!! I think kids would b just fine without being best and hit and stuff. Why does it matter if it’s for “discipline”? Either way u r still hitting ur kids. A rotten potato is still a damn potato even if it’s rotten!!!! So yeah, it’s still hitting and beating!!!!!! How come there is no hitting allowed in NO OTHER relationship but the parent/child relationship?? This world is plain old stupid. I wish that “spanking” kids was OUTLAWED!!!!!!!!! I guess people think their kids r gonna grow up to be pyschopaths if they r slapped and/or beaten. And btw what police officer tells somebody to slap their kids?? Polive r soo against violence and assault and sh!t but they don’t give a damn about parents assualting their kids. . . SMDH

    Reply
  53. Ray
    July 30, 2013 at 12:02 am

    The supreme courts ruling is BS. My father used to hit me across the face in a fit of rage and I would have preferred a traditional spanking to that, especially since it seems aprents did when they were calm, and sternly but sotthingly would explain why their child is getting a spanking. Why rule spanking as abuse if you think slapping across the face is okay? Your butt has more protection than your face.

    Reply
  54. Dan
    August 3, 2013 at 1:37 pm

    I never know whether to try to correct people who whine on about the state of the modern youth or just laugh at them. Really, adults said the same thing about the youth when I was an adolescent and that was many decades ago, back when beating your children was the done thing.

    Another thing people forget is that if you’re going to hit younger children you have to do it when you’re angry because the punishment has to happen immediately after the transgression, so all those people who wait a few hours to beat their child are committing a double error.

    My father lost me through corporal punishment and even if I had ever spoken to him again after leaving home there is no chance in hell I would ever have left my children alone with him. Smacking as discipline was just too deeply entrenched and I really don’t know what I would have done to him if I’d found he had smacked one of them. He effectively lost all three of his children, with only one even speaking to him at all, and then only occasionally, but no face to face contact of any kind. I know he hated his own father and we were never once left alone with his father, probably for the same reason he lost his own children. I’ve never regretted making the decision that this insanity stops with me.

    Reply
  55. Taylor
    October 1, 2013 at 1:42 am

    Thats good to know

    Reply

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *